If your webpage has nothing but static content, it should not be generated dynamically. There should not be a multi-second load time for a static webpage with 2 kB worth of content.
If you do dynamically generate static content, then you, fine sir, are an idiot.
Thanks for your patience. I needed to vent this, having used a university webpage that is like the antichrist of sensible web application design. Go go application state stored in session variables rather than the URL, so that browser navigation doesn't work and the whole application periodically crashes forcing you to re-start from the main page.